week twelve...of the rest of my life.

Sigh. Here I am again without any good news to tell you. I am only writing this entry today because I promised myself that I would faithfully blog every week. I was supposed to do this on monday but was so lazy that I did not get to it until today, (Wednesday).
I am not going well. My eating is not good. I don't know what is wrong with me exactly but I do know I have been, up until this week, way too busy.
Then I had 6 days off work due to the easter break. I had hoped that I would be able to use this time to get a grip and start eating better and maybe even get some exercise. No such luck.
 As they say, "They who fail to plan, plan to fail"! I had a vague plan, but did not actually follow through in any way. I think that, for me, I need a detailed plan. What I should have done is go to the shop and get some good healthy food and planned my meals and my exercise.
I have been so busy that when I stopped this weekend, I really stopped. I did not accomplish anything including cleaning my house or gardening, let alone eating well. I was so inert that I am suprised that I did not get a blood clot!
But, on the brighter side, Yesterday God reminded me that today is a new day and a new week and it is possible to start all over again. He kind of gave me this image in my head that it is possible to leave all this behind and begin again. So, I will.
Another good thing is that I have been eating more lentils, beans etc and not depending on processed meat substitutes as much. I have got out my crock pot and been making soups and stews, so that is positive.
I weighed myself today so I could get a base line weight to compare to my next weigh in on Monday; today I was (look away now if you can't bear it)  99.3kg.
So, I need a plan.
Maybe this:

• I think that temporarily I need to go back to my main meal being at the end of the day instead of at breakfast. When I am not eating well, I tend to eat too much in the morning  but then do not have the self discipline to eat lightly at night.
• I need to get some healthy groceries. Probably can do that after work today.
• I need a basic food plan.
• Weighing only once a fortnight is not really working for me as I do better when I can use that weekly weigh in as a motivator. Nevertheless, I will persist with this as my dietician suggested it and I trust her judgement. I can see why it is important. Weighing in too often can make you crazy and is inaccurate anyway due to daily weight fluctuations. More importantly (for me) is that I shouldn't use the weigh in as my primary source of  motivation to stick to my eating plan. I think that my primary motivation should be internal (from me) instead of external. If I can be motivated to stick with healthy eating from something other than a weigh in, then that has got to be a good thing. It seems to me that if I depend on the weigh in then it is so easy to skip that weigh in,  if things are not going well or instead (and this is what I have been doing), becoming to relaxed and eating more because I know I don't have to weigh in for two weeks.
• So, what will my motivating factor be? I could use a long term view of health. That is what it really should be. But I think I need something more short term. What? My clothes fitting well? Feeling good in the morning when I get up? Yes, I think that is what my motivator should be. When I eat well, I can feel it in the morning when I wake up. My abdomen feels good and tighter and I feel kind of clean and healthy.

Yes, that will work I think. If I was just trying to maintain and not lose weight, then I think that this would be something that would motivate me to stay healthy and eat healthily; waking up and feeling that flatter, tighter stomach and feeling lighter, healthier and with more energy. I think that  this is important because whatever tools I use now should also be the tools I am willing to use when I get to my goal weight.
Well,  if you have read down this far, then you are doing well. Thanks for supporting me by reading this.
I wish you also a happy and healthy week. And may we all feel good about our abdomens when we wake up in the morning! :)