week twelve...of the rest of my life.

Sigh. Here I am again without any good news to tell you. I am only writing this entry today because I promised myself that I would faithfully blog every week. I was supposed to do this on monday but was so lazy that I did not get to it until today, (Wednesday).
I am not going well. My eating is not good. I don't know what is wrong with me exactly but I do know I have been, up until this week, way too busy.
Then I had 6 days off work due to the easter break. I had hoped that I would be able to use this time to get a grip and start eating better and maybe even get some exercise. No such luck.
 As they say, "They who fail to plan, plan to fail"! I had a vague plan, but did not actually follow through in any way. I think that, for me, I need a detailed plan. What I should have done is go to the shop and get some good healthy food and planned my meals and my exercise.
I have been so busy that when I stopped this weekend, I really stopped. I did not accomplish anything including cleaning my house or gardening, let alone eating well. I was so inert that I am suprised that I did not get a blood clot!
But, on the brighter side, Yesterday God reminded me that today is a new day and a new week and it is possible to start all over again. He kind of gave me this image in my head that it is possible to leave all this behind and begin again. So, I will.
Another good thing is that I have been eating more lentils, beans etc and not depending on processed meat substitutes as much. I have got out my crock pot and been making soups and stews, so that is positive.
I weighed myself today so I could get a base line weight to compare to my next weigh in on Monday; today I was (look away now if you can't bear it)  99.3kg.
So, I need a plan.
Maybe this:

• I think that temporarily I need to go back to my main meal being at the end of the day instead of at breakfast. When I am not eating well, I tend to eat too much in the morning  but then do not have the self discipline to eat lightly at night.
• I need to get some healthy groceries. Probably can do that after work today.
• I need a basic food plan.
• Weighing only once a fortnight is not really working for me as I do better when I can use that weekly weigh in as a motivator. Nevertheless, I will persist with this as my dietician suggested it and I trust her judgement. I can see why it is important. Weighing in too often can make you crazy and is inaccurate anyway due to daily weight fluctuations. More importantly (for me) is that I shouldn't use the weigh in as my primary source of  motivation to stick to my eating plan. I think that my primary motivation should be internal (from me) instead of external. If I can be motivated to stick with healthy eating from something other than a weigh in, then that has got to be a good thing. It seems to me that if I depend on the weigh in then it is so easy to skip that weigh in,  if things are not going well or instead (and this is what I have been doing), becoming to relaxed and eating more because I know I don't have to weigh in for two weeks.
• So, what will my motivating factor be? I could use a long term view of health. That is what it really should be. But I think I need something more short term. What? My clothes fitting well? Feeling good in the morning when I get up? Yes, I think that is what my motivator should be. When I eat well, I can feel it in the morning when I wake up. My abdomen feels good and tighter and I feel kind of clean and healthy.

Yes, that will work I think. If I was just trying to maintain and not lose weight, then I think that this would be something that would motivate me to stay healthy and eat healthily; waking up and feeling that flatter, tighter stomach and feeling lighter, healthier and with more energy. I think that  this is important because whatever tools I use now should also be the tools I am willing to use when I get to my goal weight.
Well,  if you have read down this far, then you are doing well. Thanks for supporting me by reading this.
I wish you also a happy and healthy week. And may we all feel good about our abdomens when we wake up in the morning! :)

Week eleven...of the rest of my life.

A better week in every way. My stress has been high still,  but I am fine.  From now on it should be much better (and actually I am feeling much better now). 
I played in Sabbath School Cradle Roll on Sabbath and with God's tender loving care and tutelage, was able to play (insert drum roll here)...adequately! That's a high aspiration for me!  I felt like shouting for joy and raising a triumphant fist in air, when I had finished. What a relief. Of course I still made many mistakes but it was OK and not a disaster. There were two songs that I didn't attempt and I got someone else to play them for me instead and that was fine.
This is a good example of God's faithfulness that I was able to do this at all.
I weighed in yesterday and have put on about 500g.
 Hmmm, it could be worse. I am pretty much OK with this as my life has been so crazy and (if you squint your eyes and make them blurry),  it is almost maintaining and also  because I really haven't been stress eating (too much), just very disorganized with my meals and not preparing well. I have found that I really do need to plan my meals ahead if I want to do well with this.
So, that's my plan. Keep going and try and have two good weeks in a row. I am going to drag out the slow cooker and that should give me some good food to eat.
It's Easter too, so I have it all planned. I have been hiding a white chocolate Easter egg in the fridge in a brown paper bag for the last few weeks. Brown paper so I can't see it! I plan to eat that on Sunday. I also plan to eat some yummy hot cross buns every day over Easter. I also plan to count these items as part of my points allocation.
I went for a nice ride on my new bike today and went for a walk with Max yesterday which we both enjoyed. Now I have a bike I plan to use it! I am hoping to use it for short trips to the supermarket, Mum etc.
Have a blessed Easter. That's all for now.

Week ten...of the rest of my life.

Hello Bloggers!
Well here I am back again. (It must be Monday).
It's late and I wasn't able to do my usual early morning Monday blog. Better late than never.
My life feels very much in disarray and on  Sabbath I kind of had a mini meltdown. Feel much better now. I am just doing way too much and not having much fun or free time. Sunday was a much better day for me and  I did some fun things like;

• My personal training session (...insert drum roll here)! Once again,  it was great!! I am so loving it.
• Then, I actually went for  a little drive in my cute new car and sat by the river for a half hour and listened to my current fav CD.
• Then I went shopping with a friend and bought a bike! Can you believe it? I can't believe it. It's green and beautiful and I love it. I have called her Abby, to go with my new car named Angus. Abby and Angus.

I have been feeling very stressed, mainly because I am practicing my piano for cradle roll sabbath school around the clock. I played on Sabbath for them and I was spectacularly bad. Worse than last week. This really is trial by fire. I practice every moment I can; before work, at lunch, after work, late into the night. This weekend i have to play at cradle roll by myself, (the last two weeks I was having a trial run). I am very nervous, but I do think that with God's help, I have improved a lot in the last few days. I am getting a grip on it.
The stress is starting to show in my eating habits again. I have not really had a great eating week.
It all really started on Monday when I had two hot cross buns which were not accounted for in my points allocation. Against my better judgement I tried to make up for it by reducing my points the next two days. That is always a bad idea. I vow not to do that again ever. You just spend the whole week chasing your tail. I have had some good days and also some bad days since then. Usually one good and one bad eating day in a repeating pattern.
Today was a bad eating day. It all started when I ate two large cookies which were not accounted for in my points allocation. Does this sound at all familiar? If not; please re-read the above paragraph.
The difference is that I will not try and make up for it tomorrow. So there.

Last thing: I have not weighed in today as I am only weighing in fortnightly as directed by my dietitian. I will weigh in next Monday. Love to you all. xxx PS I heard a nice quote today, "there are no failures, only people who give up".

Week nine...of the rest of my life.

Hello again,
A good week. I weighed in again, (now weighing in only every second week as suggested  by my dietician) and I am now 96.7kg which is down 1.8kg (in two weeks). Praise God. I am very happy with that.
I am feeling much better. My work uniform is much looser and I am into my smaller jeans. I feel like that it is all starting to come together now.
I am trying hard not to stress eat and to remain very focused, just literally taking one day at a time.
My plan for this week is to keep focused and to have another good two weeks before I weigh in again. It is so easy to have one good week and then one bad week and keep see-sawing like that. I am trying to avoid doing that. Kind of like slow torture.
Still not exercising much, I just do not have the time. I have taken Max the Dog for a walk weekly, but I will try to go in the mornings again. Now it is no longer Daylight savings time, it will be lighter.
So, that's my plan: remain focused and walk in the mornings. I will also get to have another personal training session again this Sunday. Looking forward to it.
Love Annie (aka Pooh Bear).